Husband Has a New Hobby

Dear TinyMom,

I’m letting my husband go to a Dungeons and Dragons convention next weekend.  I figured that was a better escape for him than having an affair.  But now I’m wondering if maybe this convention is actually a cover for an affair.  His only previous experience with D&D is reading comic books about it and making fun of people who play it.  Why does he suddenly want to spend the weekend with “weirdos who have nothing better to do.”  (Not an exact quote, he’s much harsher.)   The other thing is, despite the fact that I’ll have to tow the baby around all weekend while shuttling my older kids to birthday parties and soccer practice, I’m looking forward to having one less person to take care of.  What do you think?

Thank you, Harried Mother of Three Small Children and One Big One

Dear Harried,

He isn’t lying about wanting to go to this convention, he’s finally admitting it.  But you figured that out already, right?  What you’re grappling with, what you must now come to terms with, what underlies your fear/unconscious wish that your husband is cheating, is the realization that you’ve been sharing diaper-duty all these years with a man whose fantasy life involves mythical creatures and magic, instead of or in addition to more mainstream delusions like, for example, porn.  I say don’t look a gift horse in the mouth:  you’re getting a break from your husband with little risk that he’ll contract an STD, break a bone or gamble away your retirement.  Plus you’ll be owed a spa weekend with your girlfriends (if you don’t mind your kids eating pizza for two days or your house looking like a cyclone hit it).  As for your awkwardness with being married to a geek, think of it as training for the future when he extols to the world the miracle effects of his new favorite bran cereal.  All men seem to go this route, and, trust me, it’s worse.

Sincerely, TinyMom